Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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