I hope mine doesn't look like that
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
