Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
This is the prime rib incident all over again
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Randomize
