The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
