Don't you send me to vm
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
