so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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