Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
