Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
