So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
