First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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