white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
