i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
