dude i'm inner monologue high
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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