I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
