Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
