Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Sext me about skeletons
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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