I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize