I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Congratulations! We have a period
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