i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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