All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
