tell your sister to shave her snatch
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
