Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
