Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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