it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
