Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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