the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
