Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
