Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
