im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
