you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
