Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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