is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
