i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
