Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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