why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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