i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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