I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
