Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
