just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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