I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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