i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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