fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
