since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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