the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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