I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I forgot how hot balto sounded
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
