my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
