he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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