we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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