I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
