i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
