i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
