Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I checked into jail on foursquare
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize