I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
