is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
