i need an iv and a liver transplant
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
