You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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