Just cropdusted the office
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize