i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
