I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
