Can i not drive my cunt home
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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