Your dad touched me again.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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