We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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