i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
