Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I am never drinking with the goths again.
why is half of my head shaved?
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