I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
