i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
