Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
should my penis look like a turkey
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
