What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
false alarm. still invincible.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
