Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
COCAINE IS GR8
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
