It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Found your dick twin last night
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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