tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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