fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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