Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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