So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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