new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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