rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
