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I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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