Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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