U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
