your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
