I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My vagina is officially offended.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
