you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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