I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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