So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
