sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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