oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just google imaged poop.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
